Monthly Reflections From March 2023
Not only is this week the end of March, but March is the end of the first quarter of 2023. So, there is a lot to reflect upon this week.
Now, back in December, I had a list of goals I wanted to complete for the first quarter of this year.
Did I accomplish those goals?
Let’s check in with my goals for Quarter 1.
My goals included: setting up the outline for my Grimoire of Self (GOS) series, as well as making the videos, writing the essays, creating the prompts, and working in my own GOS journal as well as I went along (as opposed to the examples I worked on for the videos);
Creating and releasing a monthly stitch pattern as a dishcloth pattern;
Creating a monthly themed zine, which includes new art by me, poetry, prompts, stories, and whatever else I wanted to include for the month;
Writing and scheduling all my blog, my Medium site, and my Substack newsletter at least thirty days ahead and staying that far ahead of myself so I had plenty of time to do everything else;
Creating and releasing monthly printables. No further details there, although I do have several brainstorming pages that dive into that more deeply;
I do know there were a few other things I had intended to get done as well, but I didn’t write them down as solid goals for the quarter.
Well, to date, I still have not found a single one of my stitch pattern books. So, I have not in any way pursued pushing forward on that goal.
I have pulled out my notes for my colorwork hats that I developed way back in about 2013. The patterns themselves were lost for several years. Yeah, this whole something gets put up somewhere ‘safe’ in the house and then it takes darn near forever for me to figure out where that might be—it is a thing.
I do have yarn bagged up in separate baggies so that I am ready to go as soon as I want to knit these hats up. I do know exactly where my notes and patterns are at the moment. I have had zero desire to start working on them as yet.
As for my zines, I have/had so many plans…but after not being able to find so many things at the beginning of January, I lost all of my fire and desire to get going and start making… so I didn’t. This also includes why I haven’t begun any printables either.
January was a difficult month. In the middle of the month, our family was hit with an emergency issue with which we are still attempting to deal. During January, I worked hard to be positive and stay upbeat.
It didn’t last.
Oh, if you are wondering, I have not proceeded too much on my GOS courses because I keep going back and forth on how I want to present them/offer them. Originally, I was thinking of setting something up with a monthly fee or a yearly fee with a discount and then people would be able to have access to all the classes as I release them.
I also did not realize how many topics I have scribbled down to work out and work through. I have nearly one hundred topics at the moment.
I started to think that perhaps offering each topic as a single standing class, for a human-friendly and low price. I am thinking that this feels much better to me than one huge overwhelming project.
I do have this method outlined and ready to go. Actually, how I decide to sell these classes is irrelevant to my creating the content. But my brain gets stuck on things like, oh my gosh, once I finish X, what do I do for Y? And I cannot move forward on X until I figure Y out.
However, I am at least much closer to my goal of creating content.
Now, my other goals, not written down specifically because they are goals that have not changed, for example, doing the deep clean and complete purge of the house.
I do at least keep taking small steps toward this process. I have not completely upended any particular space in the house and gone hog-wild on the purge, clean, and organize of that space. I sort of chip away a little here, a little there.
February was another difficult month. Dealing with the family emergency issue, as well as my anxiety and the guys’ anxiety and their stress, I got sick. Of course. At least I did not spend days on end curled up in my recliner snarling at Death as He stood there laughing at me (that was December, really, bleh). I got hit with the nausea-heavy, stress-heavy malaise that effectively killed any energy I might have garnered from anything, say, food, sunlight, or vitamins…not even sleep made me feel better.
March arrived and I at least felt better physically. Our own little family emergency is still ongoing. Prayers are always welcome that this issue is remedied as quickly as possible. Then there was a death in the family. I already felt helpless and useless due to our issues here, and then I got to feel even more helpless and more useless because I could not go to help after said death occurred. It makes me cranky all the way around, but it is what it is and I cannot do any more than I can do.
In February, I barely used my Bullet Journals, so for March, I set both aside. I had decided in February not to move forward with my A5 Archer and Olive notebook. I did set up my slim dot grid notebook from Sunshine Sticker Co. I have not even touched my March set-up in Morticia (the slim dot grid notebook) since setting March up.
Luckily, I did not set up the monthly calendar spread. Although March appears in several page headers, it would not be all that difficult to cover March up and put something else in, either by using correction fluid or collage, or even paint if I felt like painting over it.
Now, I have not in any way missed the artsy Bullet Journaling. Although in the A5, I did experiment with doing some watercolor painting. I have come to realize that I miss using my Sunshine Sticker Co slim dot grid notebook. I miss the paper. I miss having more than my two Hobonichi Weeks planners. I have not picked Morticia (or any other slim dot grid notebook) back up because, to date, I do not know what I would be putting on the pages.
I have let go of a lot of the planning and tracking that I have been doing due to the family emergency we are currently dealing with because the issue has completely discombobulated me and having to pick up anything on a daily basis, other than my Hobonichi Weeks, it doesn’t always occur to me, nor do I want to do it all the time when and if it does hit me.
I have not yet gone back and made the planner videos I have needed or planned to make. When was the last time I did? January? So I have some major walking through planners to do when I do feel up to making videos again. Which, hopefully, will be in April, fingers crossed.
In the month of March, I crocheted up a queen-sized granny square blanket, as well as a full-sized+ granny square blanket. I started to knit up a t-shirt for myself but put that on the back burner while I made other things. I started a third granny square blanket, using two colors of yarn, an off-white and a lime green one. I know I said I would be using stash yarn this year for my projects, but for this particular blanket, to stay in the pattern, I had to order more off-white yarn. While awaiting the arrival of that yarn, I set that particular blanket aside. When I set that aside, I started to make a hexagon cardigan, using Hobbii’s free pattern called Horizon cardigan. This cardigan will not be completed by the end of March unless I do absolutely nothing else for 12+ hours a day every day … but my goal is to have it done before the end of April.
I think March has been the worst month for writing that I have had since I got so sick all I could do is sleep and grumble about being sick until I lost the energy to grumble. I barely published anything online at all. I also did not try to go back and catch up on things I missed. Again, I simply did not and do not have the bandwidth to do that with everything that is going on with our family currently.
I had meant to create a social media posting schedule this month, as well as what sort of content I wanted to start putting up. Nope. I have felt so stressed out and anxious I just set that aside for the time being as well.
Not posting online gave me a break that I didn’t realize I needed. I haven’t been writing morning pages, midnight pages, or even just jotting done what I have been doing for the day for a very long time now. Due to letting go of stressing out about posting online, I started to actually write in my journal. It started out as brain-dumping lists of different things…but turned into me writing…I have ideas for stories…ideas for April for National Poetry Writing Month and for Mer-May. I also hit upon a story idea that I have begun to work with and work on.
I had forgotten that April is Camp NaNoWriMo. Usually, I might say I want to try to write a particular number of words throughout April, maybe on one story, maybe on blog posts, but this year, I have a story idea that I want to explore and run with as far as I can.
The more interesting thing about this is I went back to the way I originally wrote my poetry and stories eons ago when I was in middle and high school. I grabbed a notebook, in this case, a five-subject spiral-bound notebook, and my favorite (for non-planner activities) pen, the Bic Cristal with black ink. So, now I have the full intention of participating in Camp Nano because I might as well since I am planning to work on this novel/novella regardless.
I did make it through half of the bedroom makeover that I had planned for our master bedroom this month. My cats and I have issues agreeing on where I can put my things where they will not be knocked off for whatever reason and broken. I sorted through my wardrobe since I am planning on creating seasonal capsule wardrobes. I threw out so much that I have held on to for whatever reason. It was more than a relief to do so. I opened up a lot of space for myself, literally and spiritually. It felt good—it still feels good days later.
From this wardrobe purge, I learned, I do not need to make up specific capsules at the moment. Right now, I need shorts and I need skirts. Plus, I have a stack of jeans to upcycle and remake so they will fit/work for what I want them to do for me and then I can relax and focus on other things.
So. March.
Positives and negatives.
I have learned that I have missed my writing. I will probably set aside posting online so that I can focus on my writing.
For my fiber work, I am going to finish my hexagon cardigan, and my green and white blanket. I also mean to finish knitting my t-shirt, which is hibernating while I finish the crochet projects.
For my sewing, not including book-binding, I am going to focus first on re-doing my jeans because I have missed my denim, although I do have other jeans to wear. I want some that are long enough for me, not ones that stop at my ankles or above. Then I will think about shorts and skirts. I have the fabric. I know I am good there.
I have actually painted a fair bit at random throughout the past three months. Not enough to finish any one canvas, but I am working on things. So, that is a positive for me.
I am still planning to bind some more books, art journals, junk journals, and the like.
I also want to sew up some planner and notebook covers.
As for my planning system at the moment, in my Jibun Techo Weekly I basically note big things that happen during the day, when shipments arrive, who calls, appointments, that sort of thing. Ophelia, my Hobonichi Weeks Mega, is all about my writing, as well as tracking the few things I continue to track. My other Hobonichi Weeks (which is not a mega), Melangell, is my magic book. I keep Tarot and Oracle Spreads, dreams, prayers, and other similar tidbits within her pages. I very much enjoy doing this, so I am planning to keep this up in the coming years (knock on wood).
As I said earlier, I am not even writing out my memory/task keeping in my Stalogy B6 at all. I will look at it. I will think about it. I have no extra energy or desire to pick it up and make use of it.
I did not keep up with posting or creating for Passion Planner. If you remember, I am a brand Ambassador. It is not Passion Planner’s fault I haven’t done anything for them this month. I still love Passion Planner dearly. They just are not what I need in a planning system at the moment. And for this month, I have simply been too off myself to put forth any effort for anything at all.
I miss working in my art journal, but I have a few ideas about that brewing in my brain at the moment, so I will let you know when something concrete comes up.
I have also read more in the past three months than I did in all of last year, which for me is amazing and feels good. For Christmas, I got some dark academia/Gothic novels and collections of stories. I have missed my dark friends…it has been so good to become reunited and reacquainted with them.
I think I have touched upon everything I had in mind to talk about here. If I haven’t, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to reach out to me. I will respond as quickly as I can, though I warn you, I am not checking my email on a daily basis at the moment. I might check it every two or three days. So please do keep that in mind. I am not ignoring you. I am too stressed out and anxious and am not doing a lot online at the moment.
Where am I going in April, in the second quarter?
Other than what I have talked about above, I haven’t had a proper sit-down to work those things out. I know it is coming in the next few days though.
Thank you for sticking around as we work things out here and as I work things out for myself as well.
Until next time…